


An Unfamiliar Road

by Winter_Child19



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Association to objects, Gen, Memories, Platonic Relationships, Seungcheol is soft for the members, member appreciation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:27:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24319567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winter_Child19/pseuds/Winter_Child19
Summary: In which Seungcheol is reminded of how much he loves the members individually.Inspired by EP 3 of SEVENTEEN: HIT THE ROAD. A fic dedicated to our beloved leader for their anniversary.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Everyone, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Hong Jisoo | Joshua, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Jeon Wonwoo, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Kim Mingyu, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Lee Chan | Dino, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Wen Jun Hui | Jun, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Xu Ming Hao | The8, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan
Comments: 23
Kudos: 138





	1. PROLOGUE

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! It's my second story. This will be a thirteen-chapter story of related shorts focusing on Seungcheol's relationship with each member. I hope it captures the necessary emotions. Enjoy!

Seungcheol has been contemplating a lot these past few days. 

After being told to rest upon showing symptoms of anxiety, he suddenly has a lot of free time. Frankly, he doesn't know whether to consider it a blessing or not. After all, being left alone to his thoughts is the last thing he wants in his current condition. 

He sits quietly on his bed before pulling out his phone, opening their chat group to send a message to the boys. 

_"Good luck guys, hyung is not there right now but I'll support you for sure even from here. Fighting!"_

He waits for a response for the next five minutes but gets none. 

_"They're probably busy preparing for the opening right now. It's just a few minutes before the concert, after all. Oh, well."_

Deciding that none of the members would be available for the next two to three hours, he decided to instead lie down. Arms crossed behind his head, his right leg on top of his left knee, Seungcheol stares at the dim yellow light on the ceiling. The relatively dark lighting of the room and the cold air blowing from the air conditioner somehow manages to make him feel even more alone. In the silence of the moment, Seungcheol wonders what he could be doing right now had he been with the rest of the gang. 

He loves performing, of that he is sure. 

The feeling of getting up on stage, surrounded by people who loves him, he loved every single moment of it. He loves the fact that he is able to share his art through rapping, that he is able to express all that's inside his mind and heart: the love, the anger, the passion, the frustration and even the sadness. He loves the fact that every once in a while, he'd go on stage with his twelve brothers with whom he'd shared most of his life. He loves to sing and to dance and be surrounded by blinding lights and deafening screams, and laugh or even cry when given awards. Hell, he even loves the absolutely tedious processes behind it all.

He loves the days when he felt like giving up as much as he loves the days when he felt like they could conquer the world. 

Seungcheol chuckles quietly. 

_"I sure am getting sappy right now. Jeonghan and Shua would probably tease me if they hear everything I'm thinking of."_

The pressure is intense, of that he is sure.

Knowing he's the leader, that he has a responsibility towards their management and his members- it makes him feel both proud and scared, knowing that as much as the members can rely on his capabilities, he could disappoint them with just a single move just the same, anytime. He gets scared, knowing there are thousands, no, millions of fans with their eyes on the team. That there are millions of people to please, millions of people to love, millions of people with whom to share his everything. He finds comfort in the love that their fans give them, sure, knowing that their efforts are appreciated and rewarded but sometimes, he finds that love being his greatest fear as well. 

But he knows for sure that as easy as it is to find something to be anxious about in his line of work, he could find strength just as easily. All he needs to do, he realized lately, is to look at his brothers. He only needs to see Chan dance passionately or find the gag trio bickering or share a drink with the wine duo. Every time his mind disturbs his peace, he realized it only takes one member to remind him of his place in SEVENTEEN- that he's not just a leader, not just S. Coups. That like the rest of them, he's also a brother to the rest of the boys. That when he's with them, he is Choi Seungcheol above anything else.

And so he keeps this in mind lately, especially now when he's at his lowest. He thinks it's what kept him going on after taking a break, knowing that twelve boys, his family, will always be waiting to talk to and spend time with him.

He smiles at his thoughts.

Consecutive notifications flooded his phone, making him twitch slightly in surprise. He counts the bells and figured out there are twelve. Looking at his phone, he saw twelve individual messages sent to him directly by each member, all the way from Jeonghan to Chan.

_"Guess there's a reason to smile tonight, after all."_


	2. YOON JEONGHAN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "...and he knows in this aspect, for the lack of a better word, that Jeonghan is really an angel."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1 is up! Also, shameless plug, follow me on Twitter at @arenas_tyrone
> 
> Enjoy!

_"The kids are at it again. This is basically more difficult than I expected it to be, lol. Eat your dinner!"_

Seungcheol smiles lightly at the message he received from Jeonghan.

 _"Always the mindful one,"_ he thinks. He gets up from his bed and goes to the kitchen to retrieve a flyer for a take out.

 _"Better than nothing, I guess. It's a hassle to go down to eat anyway."_

As Seungcheol types his order on his phone, he can't help but think of how Jeonghan has grown to be so important to him for the past years. It was awkward at first, him being one of the earliest trainees in the group and Jeonghan being one of the later ones. However, being born on the same year provided them a special connection somehow. Before they even noticed it, the second eldest became one of his undeniable closest buddies in the group. He laughs lightly, remembering how fans would even "ship" the two of them, giving them nicknames like "JeongCheol" or the "parents" of SEVENTEEN. As funny as it may sound, in a way, he actually believe such things to be true.

Jeonghan has this knack of being laid off but competitive at the same time. Seungcheol knows he hates getting tired, evident with how he likes to sleep and rest but he also sees Jeonghan playing sports as a pass time. He notices how the boy would so often play tricks on the members but also be the one to rush into the scene when someone gets hurt or feels bad. He likes how Jeonghan would be the one most of them would talk to when they're distressed but could also keep himself relatively distanced from others when he needs time alone. Jeonghan, Seungcheol supposes, is a mystery. A whole box of contradictions and surprises and ironies. He figures one cannot fully grasp everything that is in his mind and his heart.

And he loved him for it.

He loved how Jeonghan can be so apologetically him all the time, how the angel never hesitates to show all there is to him as if he is not an idol, as if he is an ordinary person. He loves how Jeonghan has no filter of what he should or should not do, that he simply does things he enjoys the most, that he just seizes every single moment of every single day. He loves how the boy can be so honest, so transparent but also be private at the same time, how despite everything that the fans and the company like them to be, despite the image they all have to maintain, Jeonghan can remain so "him" so easily with no reservations whatsoever. 

As he settles down once again on his bed, he came into one realization about his beloved member.

_"He reminds me that I am a person."_

In their line of work, Seungcheol thinks it's easy to forget yourself. It's easy to get caught up in the label of being an "idol." It's easy to confuse Seungcheol from S. Coups, the youngest son from the eldest of a group, the leader from the oldest brother of a twelve dongsaengs. It's so easy to lose sight of who you want to be in exchange for being too focused on who others expect you to become for their satisfaction. It's easy to be a working machine for the fame, for the love and for the recognition among many other reasons. 

But Jeonghan always reminds him of who he is. One look at the eye of the boy, one glance at his actions, one conversation when they're all alone, are all it takes for Seungcheol to always see himself in a different eye. All it takes is a reminder in the shape of Yoon Jeonghan to remind himself that he could always be who he truly is, despite all that goes on in their restless, busy careers. He loves him, because he is always there to guide him, to remind the leader that he is not a machine nor an object, but a true person just like anyone else and he knows in this aspect, for the lack of a better word, that Jeonghan is really an angel.

He closed his eyes for a brief moment and decided to respond to the message.

_:"I ordered take out. About the kids, I'm pretty sure you can handle them. Just be yourself, like you always have been. I'm sure they'd listen."_

Seungcheol smiles.


	3. HONG JISOO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's funny, how despite being the youngest among the three of them, it's Joshua who keeps him and Jeonghan grounded all the time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter three! I'm probably gonna get in trouble for writing a fan fiction instead of doing school works but who cares?

Seungcheol decided he's going to need a little bit of something before his order arrives so he once again stood up to get a drink and a few snacks from the kitchen. He hums to himself quietly, enjoying the sound of Pinwheel sounding within the quietness of the dorm as he fantasizes doing a unit reverse for the next Carat Land. 

_"It will be fun. It's been so long since Wonwoo and I sang a ballad in front of our fans,"_ he whispered at the back of his mind.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sight of the 95 liners' picture on top of a drawer near the entrance to the kitchen. Remembering he's only opened one message from earlier, he opened his phone again and clicked on the message that Joshua sent him.

_"Make sure you rest okay? Don't tire yourself out too much in there."_

Seungcheol looks at the framed photograph on the drawer again. He looks at the three of them, a distant image of three young boys from about a year ago. He sees his smile, filled with anticipation for that day's schedule, Jeonghan's eyes, brimming with light as he stares at the lens of the camera, a playful smirk on his lips and Joshua's face as he looks at them, a trace of fondness and adoration evident at his features. 

He smiles to himself as his mind goes back to that random live when the "twins" teased him to no end.

_"Ah, I suddenly miss them now."_

He stares at Joshua and feels a sudden rush of incomprehensible emotions flood his heart. 

_"Did he always look at us this way?"_

He stares at the picture and he realized, the longer he looks, the longer he sees all sorts of messages and comforting words spoken from those very eyes.

 _"He's always been like that,"_ Seungcheol thinks. He knows for a fact that Joshua is a usually calm person, that it takes a lot to shake the boy up for he has always been very level-headed and chill about stuff. He figures it's one of his charms, being able to remain composed and collected regardless of what goes on around. 

He thinks about the moments they shared in each other's company: the spontaneous invitation for a little drink, the short guitar lessons, the fun jamming sessions, the way they would sometimes sit at the quietness of the night, saying absolutely nothing but enjoying each other's presence very much nonetheless. Everything came rushing into his mind and in the midst of it all, a single tear escaped Seungcheol's eyes.

_"I miss Shua."_

Joshua has always been the one to keep Seungcheol calm at times. He has always been the first one to tap him on his back, hold his hands or smack his head every time the situation calls for any of those. He has always been the one to whom Seungcheol talked to about his biggest fears and insecurities. He has always been the person to whom Seungcheol felt most at peace with.

_"He gives me rest."_

Seungcheol figures, it's always been Joshua who understood him and Jeonghan the most. Despite the evident complicatedness of Jeonghan and his obvious reservedness, it was always Joshua who can easily read them as if they are an open book. He's the one who reminds them to keep themselves on the ground during their highest just as he is the one to boost them upwards into the sky whenever they feel at their lowest. It's funny, how despite being the youngest among the three of them, it's Joshua who keeps him and Jeonghan grounded all the time. It's Joshua who keeps him grounded all the time.

This friend of his, he realizes, is the stability he needs in the face of pure, utter chaos, the serenity in a sea of crashing waves, the calm in the midst of a harsh storm, the oasis he seeks in the scorching heat of the desert. Joshua, he realizes, is the peace he longs for at the heart of his thoughts. 

Seungcheol allows himself one more tear before tapping his cheeks thrice. 

_"Okay, that's enough crying for tonight. Shua would freak out if he sees me like this."_

Stealing one last glance at the photos, Seungcheol smiles to himself, uttering a word of thanks to the gods for having these two by his side all this time.

He sends a reply to Joshua after returning from the kitchen.

_"I will. Thank you... very much"_


	4. WEN JUNHUI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He likes it, how Jun can still be so shy and reserved some times, as if every day to him is still a new chance for growth."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter four is up! Thank you so so so much for the hits and kudos guys!

_"Hyung, what do you call Santa Claus' helpers?_

__

__

_Subordinate clause! HAHAHAHAHA"_

Seungcheol laughs loudly for a good ten seconds before stopping abruptly, covering his mouth. With his eyes wide, he looks around the dorm, feeling embarrassed for laughing so unashamedly. He's quick to realize however, that he is in fact alone at the moment. Feeling embarrassed for the second time, he allows himself to chuckle for just a while again before lying down on the bed. 

He turns to the side, staring outside the window and into the darkness of the night. 

_"The sky's pretty tonight."_ He said as he feels himself calming, getting lost into the picturesque view- a sea of blue and silver.

He stares in wonder at the stars, wondering how it feels to be so small yet so beautiful, so minimal and yet so large. He wonders how it feels to be a part of a greater picture, a very small light shining in the midst of thousands of others but being just as important in completing a perfect scenery. 

And then his eyes brought him to the moon, the lone piece of a crescent that it is, gracing the bustling city with its serene glimmer. He stares at it for a little bit longer, his thoughts flying into the distance, his mind both empty and running miles at the same time.

_"Jun, huh?"_

Seungcheol closes his eyes, visualizing the face of the boy in his mind. He imagines his pretty eyes, his delicate eyes, his high nose, his sharp jaw line, his vibrant smile. He opens his eyes and pouts.

 _"Now I just got jealous. That damn pretty boy,"_ he sighs as he chuckles and shifts, turning to his other side.

Seungcheol thinks back to the joke Jun sent him and felt a small surge of pride in his chest.

_"To think he used to be so shy. Now he feels confident cracking jokes and all. Talk about improvement."_

He smiles.

Jun has always been both confident and reclusive, Seungcheol thinks in amusement. How he manages to be both, he still doesn't know but he supposes it's a Jun thing, to be completely unreadable yet hold so much meaning. 

He thinks back to the earlier years of their career, when the boy used to be so reserved, only talking when asked but talking so little anyway. He remembers how Jun would so often be playful and all behind the camera but get relatively quiet when he's behind the lenses, how he plays tricks and jokes around the members but gets tame when exposed to the spotlight.

The leader realizes Jun has been so different lately. Getting schedules on his own, being louder and more outspoken during shows, being funnier than usual, now even when cameras are rolling, Seungcheol figures the fourth eldest member somehow managed to break free from his shell and go out there, seizing every moment when it comes. He thinks back to the now more evident charisma and passion when Jun sings and dances, the playfulness in his eyes when he looks through the screen, the newfound brand of humor he somehow manages to deliver exclusively and felt warmth bubble from his heart.

To be honest, he sees himself in the member's persona. He relates to the awkwardness and the reservation that Jun used to have. He assumes, no, he knows, it must have been very difficult back then, being thrust into a world of immense pressure, needing to show much of you despite feeling hesitant, needing to smile in front of everyone else while you're panicking at the back of your mind, wanting to speak out but lacking the courage to do so. 

That just may be the reason why Seungcheol feels proud of Jun. He likes it, how Jun can still be so shy and reserved some times, as if every day to him is still a new chance for growth. He realizes, as Jun held himself back those times, he was preparing to show the best of him in the future. All those time, it was never about him being unable. Rather, it was him taking things at his own pace, improving when and where he needs it, reserving his energy and efforts as demanded by none other than himself. 

Seungcheol supposes the confidence and courage in Jun is not reserved slowly for the stage. It's a part of who he is as a person. He loves him for it. 

_"He reminds me to take it easy."_

He makes a mental note to treat the younger boy to dinner once they get back together. 

_"I think it's been long since he last ate something spicy outside. I might pass on it however. Guess I'll just order something milder."_

Seungcheol thinks he can't wait to eat out with any of the members. The doorbell rings suddenly and he hears a shout from the outside, the order is here, the guy outside the door calls.

He gets up but not before sending a quick message to Jun as a reply. 

_"You're getting a lot funnier lately, you know that?"_


	5. KWON SOONYOUNG

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "How Soonyoung can be a big ball of energy around people despite being an introvert is still a mystery he's yet to understand."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today's update is kinda later than the past few days' because we're sooo busy here at home. Hope you guys understand. Anyway' here's chapter five!

Seungcheol chews quietly on his dinner as he sits on the floor just below the foot of his bed. 

_"This is good. I should probably tell the members about that place when they get back," he says to himself after eating another slice of pork._

The boy remembers he's yet to finish going through the member's messages for the night so he decided to eat a little bit faster.

A sudden notification from his phone startled the leader, making him choke slightly on his food. He grabs a napkin, wipes his mouth and looks through the lock screen and sees another message from Soonyoung.

_"Hyuuuuuuuung, why aren't you replying?"_

Seungcheol laughs lightly, feeling a welcomed spark of joy from his chest as he read the message brimming with the all too familiar Hoshi vibes. He opens his inbox to take a look at the message left by the said member. 

_"Hyung, give me a slogan to shout with the members for when we finish up this concert please? I'm out of ideas. TvT"_

In the silence of his solitude in the dorm, Seungcheol allows himself a gummy, all-teeth smile as he reads the message again and again. 

He's not going to lie, he's always seen Soonyoung as the member that can cheer up the rest of the gang the best. As a leader, you'd expect him to be the most motivating one, the one to shout a battle cry before going onstage or crack a weird joke when the mood is kind of sulky. He burdened himself with this thought a lot back in the days, that he somehow needed to be the mood maker and the comic relief, despite needing to be the level-headed one as well. He thinks he's done a lot of that lately actually, giving himself false burdens, heavy expectations and unreasonable obligations, all because of the pretense that he is the leader.

If there is one thing he's sure however, it is that for quite some time now, for reasons unknown, he somehow managed to relax and let loose, especially when the big bundle of energy that is Kwon Soonyoung is around. 

Seungcheol thinks it's incomprehensible, how the prince has this inescapable charm in him. It's puzzling, how a simple catchphrase asking what time is it can draw so much laughter and love, how a simple wink can drive people crazy or how a simple "Yaha!" can boost the group's energy even in the hardest days. How Soonyoung can be a big ball of energy around people despite being an introvert is still a mystery he's yet to understand.

He wonders how Soonyoung can do it all consistently all these years. He wonders how the boy can manage to make himself an open book and a treasured secret. He wonders how Soonyoung can hide his temper among other things behind consistent laughter, how the boy manages to make every situation a chance to show optimism, how he can turn moments of tiredness and fatigue into chances for bonding and healing. He wonders about it all.

And sometimes, he worry because of all these too. He worries that his brother might lose himself in the process, that he might be carrying an unspoken burden hidden behind the facade of a happy Hoshi. He worries that Soonyoung might have been carrying the same burdened feelings that have been with him through the years. He worries that he's not doing enough as a leader and that Soonyoung has to suffer because of his incapabilities.

But he is always reminded of the fact, that it is Kwon Soonyoung he's thinking about.

It is him, the irrepressible force of wonder and optimism, the boy with big ambitions, the one who was born to conquer all he's ever dreamed of. 

_"He always make me feel like everything is possible," Seungcheol makes a mental note._

For it, he supposes, he will always be grateful.

And to someone like Soonyoung, the prince, the star, a third of BooSeokSoon, what better way is there to return the gratitude but to match his ever-present energy?

Seungcheol types hurriedly so the boy can read his message later.

_"How about a big fat YAHA? XD"_


	6. JEON WONWOO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He decides he'd like to be Wonwoo, not wanting to rush but not wanting to fall behind either."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for not updating yesterday guys! I was kinda busy and I figured I might as well just focus on celebrating our boys' fifth anniversary and take a break from updating as a sign of respect. Hahahaha. Anyway, hope you're still enjoying my writing. TT_TT

Being together for more than four years, the training period counted, Seungcheol is proud to say that he kind of memorized each of the members' individual personalities. He takes delight in that fact, knowing that he can attend to their needs and adjust accordingly to whatever situation presents itself. After all, it is his business as the leader to be familiar with the rest of the team like the palm of his mind.

Wonwoo, however, surprises him always. This is what goes on in Seungcheol's mind as he was cleaning up after dinner. Sparing a quick check on his inbox, he reads the short message the little kitten sent him. 

_"We're about to get up hyung, try playing the game I recommended you tonight, it's really good."_

He thinks back to the journey that the member had along the way. 

He is undeniably aloof, Seungcheol knows or at least, he was. The member has always valued his personal space and alone time, spending much of his days playing games, reading books or enjoying the hours to himself. He's admirable in that aspect, the way he seems to always be at ease, paying no mind to the chaotic surroundings around him but also being able to appreciate every single detail of every single moment. 

He changed a lot, too. He began going out a lot more, engaging in physical activities, picking up different hobbies. It was safe to say Mingyu's wish became true. Seungcheol, however, takes pride not on these actual changes but the intention behind them all. 

The leader remembers it was a promise Wonwoo made to himself. That's what amazed him the most, how the boy managed to go out of his comfort and try new things, how he was somehow able to break out of his routine and travel a somehow different course from before, all for himself, not because someone told him to nor because someone pressured him to do so, but simply because he wanted to. He absolutely loved it, how the member was able to do so much out of personal motivation to better oneself. That, he decides, is a proof of how much worth Wonwoo gives himself.

_"That's one great reminder, that my first priority should be myself."_

Seungcheol figures there's much to learn from observing the amazing man that is Jeon Wonwoo. First would be the fact that there is no need to rush things. In the crazy world they live in, he concludes it's easy to be taken over by how rapid the currents move. It's not uncommon to change hair colors in between mere weeks, or to be told to lose a certain amount of weight in a highly specific time frame. It's common to be told to act in a completely different manner from your personal self or to be asked to do something outside your usual capabilities. It's very easy, he thinks, to get swept up by the flow of events, get tired of it all and then just curse everything in the process once you realize you've no longer been doing anything because you wanted it for yourself to begin with. 

But Wonwoo takes no mind of such pressure. He goes on his private business, flows on his own time and stays on his personal rhythm. He knows he doesn't have to match the pace others have been moving on, he just have to go with whatever is comfortable for him because he knows, it's him who knows himself best. He decides he'd like to be Wonwoo, not wanting to rush but not wanting to fall behind either. He wants to walk pleasantly, to be able to enjoy his hours but also be pressured just the right amount. He wants to work and sleep just the same amount. He wants to laze around and tire himself to sleep mutually. He wants to be comfortable, just like how Wonwoo was, no, just like how he is. 

At the back of his mind, he resolves to doing just that.

_"There's much to learn from the boys if you think about it, it's kind of scary."_

He decides he likes it anyway, the way he's still able to be surprised by the boys, knowing there's still more to discover both about them and himself. And so he smiles.

Seungcheol finishes up cleaning and sends Wonwoo a message after downloading the game he referred to him.

_"I will. Enjoy the night Wonwoo. Don't forget to take it easy."_


	7. LEE JIHOON

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And he wonders for a short moment if they could really stay like this forever."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for skipping another day of updating. My family took a rest day yesterday and we like, bonded over movies and food so I didn't find time. I might have also been waaay too busy with Bumble. You guys should check it out. Anyway, try listening to What Kind of Future while reading this chapter!

Seungcheol has his eyes closed, feeling the soft melody and absorbing the beautiful lyrics of the song he's listening to as he appreciates the darkness and silence that surrounds him at the moment. He hums quietly, imagining in his head a story painted by the carefully written words of the piece, weaving in an alternate universe a tale of love and longing, a romance of tragic and beautiful sorts. He feels himself drifting to a world of fantasy, a parallel world where every word he sang translated to a new chapter in the life of a certain someone. He enjoys it as he gets lost in the moment. 

_"What Kind of Future is really beautiful. We should release a studio version of this."_

He thinks back to the message Jihoon sent him earlier.

_"Take care. Make sure to sleep well tonight."_

A small smile makes its way to Seungcheol's lips as he finished imagining the story in conjunction with the end of his throwback to the simple reminder from his friend. He decides he'd like to tell another tale and so he repeats the song. He closes his eyes yet again as the imagery of the past couple of years formed in his mind.

He imagines Jihoon, then a little chubby, a newcomer, someone like him- a young boy lost in a great world of adults. He imagines how they began in the company, learning the very basics, getting hungry for a little bit more, improving for the sake of themselves and their future. He thinks of the responsibility they had to bear, thinks of the weight on his friend's shoulders all these years. He reminisces the moments he would find the younger one crying to himself in front of the computer screen, struggling for inspiration, pressure heavy and evident on his back. He remembers the way they aged early, how although young, they were forced to grow up and mature ahead of time, how there was always this lingering dread for failure and disappointment at the back of their heads.

He thinks back to the tiresome journey they've had so far, how they themselves had to work out and squeeze every opportunity to harvest the best possible outcomes, how Jihoon learned to compose and produce for the sake of the whole group. He smiles at how the boy found love and passion, a calling, so to say, in the midst of it all. 

He smiles as he paints pictures of triumph-of confetti and bright lights, images of sadness-of struggles and despair, moments of blankness- of exhaustion and the lack of motivation. And at the back of it all, he sees Jihoon.

He sees the great man he is, the one who shared with him the heavy burden of questions and uncertainty, the one whose hands were stuck holding on to thin threads. He imagines everything he had gone through, being surrounded by many people but not having someone to share his sentiments with. He imagines the insecurities masked by optimism, the doubts behind the assurance he provides, the solitude hidden by his smiles. 

_"I'm glad he's able to smile a lot now."_

He's glad to have found stability and success, to have themselves immersed in love and accomplishment. He loves it not for the perks, not for the popularity, not for the money but because he knows, they know, everything they've put into their dreams, the life and soul they've put into their works, are finally paying off, that for each day, each opportunity, they are one step closer to every dream they've always wanted to build. 

And he wonders for a short moment if they could really stay like this forever.

But he decides it does not matter. The promise of time matters not when you could hold on to every single memory, the passing moments of every day. He decides the destination is not as important as the value of their journey. He thinks a guarantee of forever is not what they need, just the knowledge that they'd get through the days together just like they've always had.

He thinks to what Jihoon said in the past.

_"I just want to keep doing this with these people for as long as I could."_

Seungcheol figures there's no reason to worry about the guarantee of tomorrow. Today, he decides, is enough for him.

The song finishes exactly as Seungcheol concludes his thoughts, imagining thousands of empty pages in which to write further chapters in the journey they would still have for days to come. He wipes a single tear and laughs at himself lightly for being so immersed to his thoughts.

He types a message and sends it to Jihoon before playing the next song in his playlist.

_"Have I ever told you that you're really great at capturing emotions?"_


	8. XU MINGHAO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "A life that is lived is a life that has loved."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I am soooo sorry for not updating for months. I've been through a LOT mentally. If you're from the Philippines, you probably know why. Well, that among many other personal reasons. But my inbox inspired me to write again and share my realizations in life through this story. Hope you guys enjoy this long overdue update. Love you all~

_"A life that has loved is a life that's been lived."_

Seungcheol stares at the message Minghao sent him and remains puzzled for a short while.

_"Where did he get this quote?"_ He supposed the member probably read it from a book, a TED talk, perhaps. 

_"Or maybe he made it himself. I'm not gonna be surprised."_

He felt a slight smile making its way to his face as he imagines the boy staring into the distance, thinking of something philosophical or inspirational to say. How such a soft boy could hold so much wisdom inside him, the leader still doesn't know.

Seungcheol thinks back to their rookie days, as he does a lot lately, he thinks. 

The8- the member with infinite potentials. A surge of pride rushes into his chest as what he would call a montage of the years they have been together flashed into his mind. 

_"He sure did live up to his name."_

Seungcheol wonders how Minghao was able to do it. From the shy, doe-eyed cutie to the respected, fashion icon and dance mentor that he is today, he realized Minghao is probably the one among them all who has grown the most since debut. Breaking free from stereotypes, displaying progressiveness, that I-don't-give-a-damn-attitude, that branding of being the SEVENTEEN member who keeps it real, it's all just so beautifully him. 

Not that he needs all of that, he concludes. Even beyond the camera, there's something about the way the boy carries himself that screams maturity and admirability. He supposes it really is the I-don't-give-a-damn-attitude.

And he does not mean ignorance nor passiveness. No. It's something more positive, something more meaningful, something more profound. 

_"Maybe it's knowing that although not everything is determined, there are things you do, are able to control,"_ Seungcheol imagines.

He sees that everyday in Minghao. The boy defies expectations, bends norms. He ignores the trivial things that most of them would obsess about. He remains focused and stays true to himself. And to be honest, that's both a brave and foolish choice. Staying true to yourself doesn't always prove to be beneficial in the idol path. After all, they have to have marketable personas, a branding that makes them desirable and worth supporting. But for some reason, their group, Minghao, especially, was able to channel much of who he is without relying on an assigned, manufactured identity.

Seungcheol smiles. He knows why now.

Minghao doesn't give a damn, that's for sure. But it's because he knows what to give a damn for. He knows there's something more important than the little things, something more worthwhile than the minor inconveniences, something more meaningful than the pressure. Maybe it's his passion. Maybe it's his goals. Maybe it's his identity. Seungcheol decides it doesn't matter. But being able to live your life around that which you love, that which you deem to be important, he figures is what allows you to overcome or at the very least, ignore the unneccessary. 

_"Minghao, you wise, 70 year-old '97 liner,"_ Seungcheol sighs.

He figures he'll be taking a while longer than the younger boy. He has the members, he has his family. But that which he loves, that which will give him a sense of purpose and the joy to wake up every morning, he supposes is yet to be found. That which will allow him tp be Choi Seungcheol, is somewhere out there. Or within him, he doesn't know for sure. 

It makes him a little sad.

But looking at the gleaming moon from outside the window, he figures a little uncertainty isn't so bad after all.

He replies after staring at the crescent moon for a good five minutes.

_"I'll be taking my time living this life then."_


End file.
